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Quilting

from 79 Songs Project by The Bassturd

/

lyrics

LIKE ANY MOTHERFUCKER I STARTED WITH NEEDLEPOINT
LIKE A FUTURE DRUG ADDICT SMOKING HIS FIRST JOINT
QUICKLY MOVED ONTO KNITTING, IT ONLY SEEMED FITTING
CONSIDERING THE WEIRD COMPULSION WITH WHICH I’D BEEN LIVING
KNITTED HATS AND GLOVES AND SWEATERS
AND LITTLE STUFFED PENGUINS
THEN I BOUGHT A LOOM, AND I STARTED WEAVING
BELIEVING THAT I COULD ACHIEVE INNER PEACE
BY WEAVING GAUDY TAPESTRIES
MY MASTERY OF THESE THINGS WAS UNFATHOMABLY STAGGERING
THOUGH I COULDN’T HELP BUT FEEL AS THOUGH SOMETHING WAS LACKING
I SEARCHED FAR AND WIDE, EMBROIDERED AND TIE-DYED
JUST HOPING THAT I’D FIND SOMETHING TO EASE MY MIND
THEN JUST AS MY CREATIVITY STARTED WILTING
MY HOMEBOY TURNED ME ON TO QUILTING
MY SAVING GRACE, MAN I EMBRACED
QUILTING WITH A PASSION THAT OUTPACED
ALL OTHER HOBBIES, INTERESTS AND DESIRES
MY FOCUS WAS SHARP, I WAS GREATLY INSPIRED
I SOON ASPIRED TO ONE DAY BE
THE GREATEST QUILTER THAT THE WORLD HAD EVER SEEN
I STARTED SMALL, WITH SIMPLE DESIGNS
LIKE BALLOONS, OR SOMETIMES JUST SQUIGGLY LINES
BUT THE MORE I QUILTED, THE MORE SKILLED I BECAME
THANKS TO MY ETSY SITE I GAINED A LITTLE BIT OF FAME
AND THEN BECAME A REGULAR ON THE CRAFT FAIR CIRCUIT
A NATURAL SALESMAN, I KNEW HOW TO WORK IT
I WAS MOVING MAD VOLUME – I BECAME OVERWHELMED
SO I PACKED UP MY QUILTS AND FLED TO MY REALM
AT THE HELM OF AN ENTERPRISE THAT HAD OUTGROWN
WHAT I WAS CAPABLE OF ACCOMPLISHING ON MY OWN
SO I GOT ON THE PHONE, MADE A FEW CALLS
SET UP A MEETING WITH A GROUP OF FELLOW QUILTERS AT THE MALL
WE DEVISED A PLAN TO JOIN FORCES
AND POOL OUR TALENTS AND RESOURCES
BEFORE TOO LONG WE HAD A LOCK
OURS WERE THE ILLEST QUILTS ON THE BLOCK
WE CRUSHED THE COMPETITION – WE LEFT ‘EM ALL WISHING’
THEY’D STAYED OUT OF THE QUILTING GAME AND PURSUED OTHER VISIONS
OUR MISSION WAS SUCCESSFUL – NOT AT ALL STRESSFUL
WE WERE MAKING CRAZY MONEY – LORDY HONEY – WE HAD PULL
\SO THERE YOU HAVE IT – THAT’S THE STORY
OF HOW QUILTING BROUGHT ME A BOUNTY OF CASH AND GLORY
I KNOW IT MIGHT SEEM A LITTLE HARD TO BELIEVE
BUT I OWE EVERYTHING THAT I’VE GOT TO QUILTING

credits

from 79 Songs Project, released July 31, 2011
Written, recorded, produced, mixed, and mastered by The Bassturd

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The Bassturd Las Vegas, Nevada

The Bassturd was born, and now occasionally plays music. He does not care for deep house or cucumbers. Influences include alcohol, cigarettes, psilocybin and cats.

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